Perspective

We had a bit of a snowstorm last night, thunder lightnin and snow. Shows you just how messed up the weather patterns are lately. My almost 3 year old daughter wanted to go out and shovel the driveway with me. She had seen the small shovel in the garage and was keen to use it. After bundling her up in her little snow bots, hat, gloves and parka it is amazing she could move. She tried really hard and could slide the snow around on the shovel but not lift it. After I had shoveled everything she wanted to make snow balls...'it will be fun daddy' she said over and over. But at 3 she lacks the manual dexterity skills to make snowballs so i had to careful make them, hand them over and wait patiently while she threw them at me. She loved this to no end. Then i chased her in the snow for a bit, her little nose running. Could I have been any happier, not a chance.

Spend your emotional energy wisely

I have had a number of great discussions lately with some good friends about effecting change and managing work stress. It is amazing how often the fundamental issue is really understanding what your emotional triggers are and what is driving your behaviour. As we've all heard and I myself have said many times, know thyself. Startng with the oracle at Delphi until now, people read the words but few people act on them.

Consider things that anger us. We focus externally and worry and argue when our sports team loses or over the conflict in the middle east. Why? It's not really relevant to most of us. How many people have actually even visited that part of the world. One of the key reasons, I think, is we avoid emotional risk and tough discussions. Things close to home, like career and personal relationships have much higher risk profiles whereas things extraneous to us can arouse our passions with 0 risk.

So...I think the key is to really focus our gaze inward and probe our true motivations. Ask the question Why? And then map out what your triggers are and decide what you are going to do to align them with your values. How will you change? Use negative triggers to motivate yourself. Share your findings with family and friends. Create and share a plan.

What do you think?

Progressing

So, you ask: what progress so far? Well, on the home front I seem to be making good progress shorin up my relationship with Zamin. It's always a challenge but I have to say so good so far. I read one of my favorite authors again last night, Montaigne.

It's amazing what great insights he has, although some of his thinking doesn't resonate I especially enjoyed his essay on 'husbanding your will'. It is amazing what strife could be avoided in the world and in our personal lives if we could hust learn to temper our passions going in to things. Why try to quit smokin if you can not start. Simplistic example but we give praise to someone who quits cold turkey after 10 years of smoking but little credit to the man who never starts. A Great Essay, very uplifting and available free on the net, just google it.

Us versus Them

Just when you think you don't have your shit wired tight and are missing the boat on moving yourself to a higher plane of happiness, people remind you that no matter how behind you are, you are still far ahead of many:

1. Cultural Bias + racism is traditionally seen as white versus black. But look at India and the still popular caste bias and north vs south bias. To me they are all Indians but among themselves their are infinite gradients until you get to our village versus their village. You have got to love Stupidity. I love Indian women, who knew I had to define it further?

2. Nasa Female Astronaut stocks rival with bb gun and a hammer and garbage bags...'I just wanted to scare her'. She threw away her career, acclaim, family and freedom for what?

3. Inter religous fighting....Christians have been doing if for decades, muslims do it now. Why fight for national freedom when you can slaughter rivals over minor points of dogma?

So In guess the learning in all this is that despite Socrates saying the unexamined life is not worth living very few people actually examine their own lives and look at how personal and cultural biases hold them back from truly perceiving the world as it is. Without true clarity of thought and self knowledge, how can you effectively pursue your own happiness?

Shane

OK...Enough is Enough

So, let's list lifes positives:

1. Make OK money at a job I like with lot's of scope and growth dealing with Small Businesses. Lot's of room to do what I like, a great team who work for me and an interesting space to work in. Located in a great city, lot's of great multi cultural restaurants etc.
2. Have a nice house, family I love and great kids. Get to spend lot's of time with them.
3. Close with my brothers and sisters, see mom a lot which is great and important.
4. Side business Number 1 - Web hosting and design, interesting and OK secondary revenue stream.
4. Side business number 2 - Small Business Marketing consulting - met some great business owners and have had the opportunity to learn and do some interesting work plus a little extra money.
4. Side business number 3- www.workmyplan.com great goal setting site that I look forward to taking to the next level as a public service.

So, whats missing and why do I long for something "Epic", to be the heroic cheracter?

Missing parts:

1. No real connection to a comunity of like minded individuals. feeling of intelectual and emotional isolation.
2. Sense of letting msyelf down in terms of personal goals - write a book, push my career, more wealth and financial independence and therefore less stress.
3. Sense of physical malaise - I have not done a good job of keeping my physical health in top shape.
4. Intelectual malaise - have I really broadened or progressed in my thinking in the last 5 years?

Are all these insurmountable, of course not. so how will I keep myself on track to positive change?

Motivation

Their are bot positive and negative motivators. My best friend and I are alike in so many ways, same upbringing, same schools, same height, same age, friends for 27 years....

He is in Saudi arabia, living an adventurous life with his family. Travelling, making good money USD$, scuba diving, new experiences etc. I am living in suburbia, family, work, different side businesses....and envious? Positive motivator for change and growth or a negative?

Panic Ensues.......

I have been trying to Blog for the last 2 years without much success. While I admit to you , my only reader (Myself), that you haven't givenm me much encouragement I am curious about the disconnect. I want to write, I enjoy it, blogging is an easy way to do that, yet I don't. Why....

Maybe I need to get into practice, committ to blog one post every day?

Felicitous Serendipity

Its funny how blogging and blogs have expanded our worldview. You read the bbc click on a link. Search an interesting stories author and before you know it your reading some things you would never have thought to read. That is why rss feeds will never be more than a convenience. They are a great way to scan the headlines but people want more than that from their reading. They want to journey to interesting ideas and concepts they might not have reached on their own. Look at the popularity of strange but true sections in newspapers....

Why Set Goals?

One really good reason is so that you have more time to enjoy the things around you. I noticed the clouds as I was driving from a clients and snapped this photo out the window while driving. If you don't examine your life you often miss the little things you take for granted. Goal setting is, for me, all about thinking about what you are doing to ensure you derive maximum benefit from the appropriat effort....while enjoying the unintended consequences that are all around you. 

Meta Principals

So where did I go wrong? The looking at things within a framework has helped but I haven't made much progress on inividual goals. The challenge seems to be the perenial one of time management and prioritizing. My days are packed so I have to make sure i am fully focused on each activity and fully engaged. Too much multitasking seems to lead to a sense of movement without accomplishing much worthwhile...It also seems to lead to a fair degree of residual anger when I feel I'm not 'getting' to things I know I need to get done. So tomorrow will be a day of focus and ensuring I can create focus and balance.

Progress so far...

Not too good. Some things I did well and you certainly learn as you go. I have a strong tendency to internalize the stresses around me. I think the key is to be engaged but not involved unless you choose to be......so what occurred exactly: next post

Meta Principals

As I reflect on what is important to me I have decided that their are four key pillars to any framework for Personal Life Rules.

1 . Strengthen you Will - if your will is weak you will accomplish nothing.
2. Perception - you need to see the world around you clearly, as well as yourself, as they really are.
3. Strive - you need to strive for goals beyond your current abilities or comfort zone to keep yourself growing even if the goals are inner goals.
4. Be Present - we live in the moment so you need to enjoy each moment as it comes, to the fullest...But don't internalize the stresses of others or the environment

The end of these four principals for me is a greater degree of personal happiness and fufillment. The challenge will be bringing these principals to each area of my life and applying them effectively. So...Let's look at my day I am on the way to my primary job.... Tasks for today and normal barriers

Rules to live by.....

Why do we keep making the same mistakes in life. One of the reasons, I suspect, is that we are very busy and have many distractions. This means that when faced with a new task we have a tendency to 'reinvent the wheel' each time. Sure we bring some of our past learnings to the table but I think this is often more accident than design. Sure, one can argue, that certain manual skills lend themselves to using prior learnings and skills...Changing a cars brakes for example. However, the vast majority of human interactions don't fit this paradigm . Relationships, our interactions at work all happen in a steady stream and don't lend themselves to reflection. Even when we do reflect we don't often leverage that learning. We think...'I should do x in future...' but because when the future situation arises we often react immediately we fail to leverage our experience to the fullest. We need a paradigm to approach life, just like we have to approach manual tasks we don't do everyday. To this end I am going to agree on a framework for reflecting and documenting my life and to see if I can more effectively leverage my own learnings and experience.

Work My Plan Registration Page - simple, fast and easy

Work My Plan Registration Page - simple, fast and easy....Goal Setting is a challenge, this link helps keep you on track with suggested Goal Plans and email reminders.

Why we work

Why do we work so hard to build a life...partly for ourselves but mostly for our children. Their the embodiment of all our hopes and dreams....and here are mine. 

The Majesty Nature

Living in Canada you forget how incredible Niagara Falls Really Is 

The beauty all around you

I am off to work on a scorching Tuesday morning seriously wishing I could work from home and as i was sittin on the train i was reminded of the gorgeous view I pass by every day. I see the lake in all the different seasons. I see attractive people (few) and I see a fair bit of a great city each day. The chalenge is keeping yourself focused and that's where www.workmyplan.com Has helped keep me focused. We all need to be reminded to look for the beauty around us not just the things we don't care for.

Small Business

Working in the Small Business space I attened Visa Canada's Small
Business conference in Toronto today. Its amazing how varied and
interesting the business's are that people run. The key insight I took
away is the focus on the basics. What do people want? How can I meet
that need, resolve that stress. How can I differentiate myself. How
can I find more customers. How can I really understand the
fundamentals of Business financial management. The problem with being
an entrepreneur is everyone starts from a different place but to
optimize their chances for success they need all of the pieces. You
can either grow and hire the knowledge or you need to learn. It's
pretty exciting dialogue and I enjoy the discussion. I attened the
Warrillow conference in Chicago last week which was Big Business
selling to Small and the same holds true. Those who are successful
either have a "can't do without offering" or understand the basics.
What does the customer want/need and how can I deliver it at a profit,
in both the near and longer terms. Their are no real "revolutionary"
ideas just repackaging of the fundamentals. Very much like weight
loss, you can go for the diet of the month or work the fundamentas of
balanced excercise and diet. The latter is harder, its always easier
to write a cheque. The same holds true for Big Business, it easier to
advertise relationship and "we value you" than it is to put together a
"feet on the street" strategy that proves you value staff and
customers.

blogging

I am constantly amazed at how prolific some Bloggers are. The real key
in establishing a readership base seems to be posting often and on a
unified theme. The challenge for me is making my thoughts readable not
just a note to myself. The benefit is you often forget your frame of
reference so if you write directly without "assuming" a certain base
knowledge it will hopefully still be relevant years later when you
read it. I think the core deliverable is to agree on what oue Blog's
purpose is and I realize I am not firm on that. My thoughts is to
generic a topic....

Perspective

I was reading Blog's of note and clicking through and was suprised by the diversity. It's amazing how many different kinds their are and the variety of readership. I decided that mine is definitely not of interest to a wider audience...thank god I only planned on an audience of one. Indiauncut.blogspot.com was refreshing in Amit's candor as he talks about his experiences as an Indian journalist. If you read between the lines you can extrapolate...you need to examine your actions and beliefs and those around you to get the true picture. Are emotions and attitudes superficial or real? This caused me to look at some of my own relationships and attitudes towards those around me. Why do I treat those around me as I do, espeacially my partner. I need to treat them as I feel they should be treated....not as reward or punishment for their behaviour. We'll experiment with that for the next few days and see how it goes.